Understanding Neurodivergence and Building Systems that Support Your Life
- Amy Richardson
- Aug 7
- 4 min read
Updated: Sep 5
As a therapist with Lended Ear, I often hear from clients who feel misunderstood or out of sync with the world around them. They might describe experiences like feeling “too much” or “not enough,” or feeling like they don't fit into social situations. These emotions can be overwhelming, especially when you're doing your best to manage everything and still end up feeling like you're always on the outside.
This experience isn’t unique, though. It's more common than you might think — especially for people who are neurodivergent. And if you’ve been feeling this way, there are strategies and insights that can help you understand yourself better, and build systems that support how you function.
What Does "Neurodivergence" Mean?
Neurodivergence is a broad term used to describe when someone’s brain processes, learns, feels, or experiences the world differently from the typical or “normal” expectations of society. This isn't a diagnosis—it's a framework for understanding how some people simply operate on a different wavelength.
Being neurodivergent could involve traits like ADHD, Autism, Sensory Processing Disorder, or being highly sensitive. Sometimes, it also shows up in people who've experienced trauma or have a history of complex emotional experiences.
You may not even be aware that you're neurodivergent because these traits often aren't diagnosed until later in life. However, they shape your interactions, your emotional world, and how you navigate daily life.
Signs of Being Neurodivergent
Emotional Sensitivity & Intuition: You feel things deeply — maybe you find yourself overly invested in relationships or emotionally drained by others' emotions.
Social Patterns: You might feel like you're either too distant or too intense in social situations. This can make relationships feel like a constant balancing act between oversharing and pulling away completely.
Focus & Memory: Your attention might shift rapidly between tasks, and you may find it hard to stick with one thing for long periods. Sometimes, you get lost in hyperfocus, but other times, it can be a struggle just to remember the small, necessary tasks.
Burnout & Sensory Overload: You might feel overwhelmed by noise, lights, or mess, even when others seem unaffected. Or, you might feel emotionally drained from trying to maintain a sense of normalcy in a world that doesn’t quite match your rhythm.
If this sounds like you, it’s okay to feel overwhelmed by it all. You’re not broken. You might just be operating on a frequency that's not always visible to others — a frequency that needs different support systems to help you thrive.
Building Systems that Support Your Unique Functioning
So, how do you take this awareness and create a life that supports you? The key is building systems that match your brain’s unique way of operating. This means recognizing what works for you, and giving yourself permission to stop trying to fit into a mold that doesn’t work.
Step 1: Know How You Function
Start by taking stock of your personal rhythms. Here are some key questions to ask yourself:
What time of day are you most productive?
Do you work best with structure or flexibility?
How do you recharge when you're overloaded?
What kinds of tasks drain you the most?
Understanding how you function is the first step in creating a life that’s less stressful. When you know how you operate, you can build systems that don’t work against you.
Step 2: Simplify Your Routines
Once you have a better sense of your needs, simplify your routines. This might mean using visual reminders (like sticky notes or alarms) to keep you on track, or creating extremely simple routines to avoid feeling overwhelmed. For example:
Daily Life: Keep your morning routine simple — maybe just a cup of coffee, a quick stretch, and one priority task.
Money: Use auto-pay for bills to minimize decision fatigue, and set aside a small amount each month as a “chaos cushion” for emergencies.
Parenting: Focus on your core values in parenting (like respect or consistency), and use scripts when you're feeling overwhelmed by your child’s behavior.
Step 3: Set Boundaries to Protect Your Energy
As someone who might experience sensory overload or emotional exhaustion, setting boundaries is essential. This means saying "no" when you need to and protecting your space from people or situations that drain you.
Here are some examples of boundaries to implement:
Energy Filter: If someone’s presence feels draining, it’s okay to pull back. “I’ve been needing to protect my energy lately, so I’m keeping my social time really intentional.”
Emotional Labor: If you’re constantly emotionally available to others but it’s becoming too much, it’s okay to say, “I’m not in a place to hold that right now.”
These boundaries are not walls; they're gates you control. Real love respects boundaries, and healthy relationships honor when you need space.
Why You Don’t Have to "Fit In"
It’s easy to feel like something’s wrong with you when you don’t fit the mold of what's considered “normal.” But here’s the truth: You don’t need to “fit in.” Your neurodivergence is simply another way of being human. And the world can be overwhelming when it’s not built to honor different brain types, emotional needs, or sensory sensitivities.
But you’re not “too much.” You’re just rare. And while the people around you might not always understand this, there are those who will. Those who value authenticity over the polished, surface-level connections that many people strive for. And those are the connections that matter.
The Final Takeaway
If you resonate with what you’ve read here, it might be time to start thinking about how you can create systems, boundaries, and rhythms that allow you to be your truest self without burnout. Whether it’s through simplifying your routine, setting clear boundaries, or simply understanding how your brain works, you deserve to create a life that supports you.
If this resonates with you and you’re looking for more personalized guidance, I’d love to help. As a therapist in Georgia, I specialize in supporting individuals who may be neurodivergent, emotionally intense, or just in need of practical tools to navigate life. Whether it’s through individual therapy or self-check-ins, we can explore together how to create a life that works for you — not against you.